"you can't call shields, Princess Leia didn't have shields" If you grew up in the 80s and you weren't the kid that ate worms for fun, odds are you played Star Wars during recess. Here's a list of who you wanted to be and who you wanted to avoid, 'cause lists bring pageviews.
1. Luke Skywalker
It's hard for a 7 or 8 year old to appreciate how cool Han Solo really is. When you're that age the only 2 things that really matter are X-Wings and lightsabers, and with Luke you get them both. Plus when you're Luke you pretty much get to set the entire tone of play.
2. Darth Vader
Ok so you're the bad guy, the good news here is that you're the greatest bad guy of all time. You're Luke Skywalker without the X-wing, but with awesome black body armour. Also if you're Darth Vader you totally get control of the big toy because the big toy is always the Death Star.
3. Han Solo
Han's easily the second best good guy to be. He gets to fly the Millennium Falcon and he's an absolute pimp. Usually the kids that want to play Han are already realizing that girls are kinda kick-ass.
4. Boba Fett
Boba's stock took a big hit after his demise in Return of the Jedi, but his upside is still pretty high. You get a jet pack, wrist rockets, a net gun and a sweet space ship in Slave 1. Also if you're recreating scenes from Empire you totally own Han Solo.
5. Princess Leia
If you're a girl playing Star Wars you're Leia by default. The good news is that every good Star Wars game needed a Leia. If you are the girl of the group that means you're in with the boys, which totally pays off when you're older. Also Leia gets a gun, so it's not like you're playing Princess Peach or anything.
6. Lando Calrissian
Lando gets to fly the Millenium Falcon and he's played by Billy Dee Williams, 'Nuff said. If you're a white kid playing Lando you're 75 percent less likely to be racist as an adult. It's science.
7. Obi Wan Kenobi
Yoda might be the more popular of the 2 Jedi Masters, but who wants to spend recess walking around with a cane working on your hunchback? Old Ben Kenobi gets a lightsaber and comes back from the dead. Yoda just can't hang with that.
* And the 3 characters you didn't want to be
1. Chewbacca
Kids and adults can all agree that Chewbacca is a total bad ass but lets face it if you're Chewie you have to moan and growl your entire way through recess. Usually the kid that has a glandular problem gets stuck playing Chewie.
2. Any Bounty Hunter not Boba Fett
If at the age of 7 you're playing Star Wars as IG-88 or Bossk, congratulations you're never going to touch a boob.
3. C3PO or R2D2
The one thing good about C3PO or R2D2 is that girls can totally play them. Great news if you happen to be playing with more than one girl. The bad news is that the majority of your time is going to be spent watching the other kids play with their blasters and lightsabers while you wait to open a locked door or access a turbo lift.
1 comments:
This post speaks to me. It's hard-hitting and informative, yet sensitive in it's delivery. I remember another character that no one ever wanted to be, and that was Jabba The Hut. We typically made the fat girl in our class, Jimmy Kim, play the role of Jabba. But instead of forcing him to eat frogs, he'd have to stuff his face with Lunchables and New Coke.
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